Shadow the Hedgehog: the Ultimate Frontman
by Wise Old p1neapple
Summary: I know what you're thinking, so don't even bother saying it. "Shadow the Hedgehog, the ultimate frontman? Frontman as in a band? Shadow, you never told me you were in a band!" Seriously, I don't want to hear it. I've got a bad headache, so pay attention!


A/N: This was fun to write. Shadow seems to be the kind of person that doesn't listen to music at all, and to put him into this situation had me giggling throughout writing this.

Thank you, Crazy Muffin Assassin, who proofread my story and help correct errors.

Disclaimer: I do not own Shadow, Rouge, Tails, Marine, or any other SEGA characters mentioned. I do not own the songs Live Wire, Fly By Night, For Those About To Rock (We Salute You), Back In Black, Blitzkrieg Bop, Welcome To The Jungle, or Drive My Car. I do however own any and every OC in this story.

Enjoy.

I know what you're thinking, so don't even bother saying it. _Shadow the hedgehog, the ultimate frontman? Frontman, as in a band? Shadow, you never told me you were in a band! _Seriously, I don't want to hear it. I've got a killer hangover and I think I might have a couple hickeys, so sit down and shut up! Here's what happened, or at least, what Rouge told me; I don't remember a thing.

I was just walking in through my front door, having returned from a long, tiring G.U.N. mission. I walked in, dropped all my equipment in a heap on the floor and walked over to my bed. I'm so tired, I could die but it's only around noon. The doorbell rang the instant my face graced the soft fluffiness of my pillow. Groaning, I hauled myself back up to answer the door.

"What do you want, Rouge?" I growled. I knew it was she because no one else is ignorant enough to disturb me when I'm tired.

Then came the teasing. "My, my, Shadow, G.U.N. work starting to cut into you beauty sleep?"

"I swear, if you don't tell me why you're here-"

"Keep you fur on, I got some back stage passes to Slingshots N' Daisies, and I have no one to share them with"

I was struggling desperately with not yelling at her to go away, but I had no idea what "Slingshots N' Daisies" were. "What's Slingshots N' Daisies?"

She laughed briefly. My jaw tightened. She has the most annoying laugh. "They're a band, silly. And not just any band, they're the hottest band in all of Mobius"

A concert. She's keeping me from sleeping for a concert! "No thanks"

"C'mon, Shadow, I don't have anyone else to go with! If figured Knucklehead would go, I mean, watch a rock, or watch a rock concert, but he shut me down."

"Rouge, I'm tired. No"

"I'll convince Commander Tower to give you two weeks vacation if you come to the concert with me"

That sounded promising. "How long is the concert?"

…_At the concert, backstage…_

We were sitting behind a blood red curtain in chairs circled around a table. There were all sorts of people moving all sorts of equipment around. Amps, instruments, special effects, you name it. There were even rolling what appeared to be a two-ton church bell.

"Here we are Shadow, we got the best seats in the house" Rouge squealed excitedly.

"I still don't see what the big deal is about these guys. They're just five people who scream and play instruments"

Rouge's eyes bugged out and she looked about ready to slap me. "Shadow, these are the best musicians on the planet! Their album, _Drive to Damnation, _is twenty-nine times platinum, and the highest selling album of all time!"

"Ah, hey, you guys must be our special guests for this evening" a voice said from behind us. We turned to see five people, the most prominent being a black fox with pink glasses.

"Yes. That's us," I said sarcastically.

"And _who_ might you be?" the fox said, looking over his glasses at Rouge, walking over in a seductive fashion.

Rouge suddenly lost the ability to speak. "This is my friend Rouge, and I'm Shadow. Who are _you?"_

The fox laughed shortly. "Pretty defensive of your girlfriend aren't ya, Shady? I'm Joseph, Joseph Ramono"

I scowled. "She _just_ my friend, and hardly that, much less my girlfriend"

The fox raised his hands in surrender. "Ok, shady-boy. Whatever he says, right, Ang?"

"Yea!" agreed a small raccoon in a schoolboy uniform.

"Um, you are aware there's a little kid back here, right?" I asked, gesturing to "Ang".

"Oi! Who are you callin' a little kid?" the raccoon said defensively, raising a fist.

"'Course we're aware!" Joseph answered, pushing his raised fist back down. "He's our lead guitarist. And if ya don't mind avoidin' the k-word when he's around, that'd be super"

Stunned, I gaped at the raccoon-boy, now smirking triumphantly. Can he really be so good at guitar that he's their lead guitarist? No, not possible, he's no older (and probably no more mature) than Marine.

"Well, are we gonna stand here, or d'you want somethin' to drink?" Joseph asked.

"I'm fine. Rouge?"

At first, Rouge said nothing. For a few more seconds, the silence continued. "Huh? Wait, what?" Rouge asked frantically, snapping out of her daydream.

"Would you like a drink?" Joseph asked again.

She blushed slightly. "Sure"

And so, the seven of us were sitting and drinking, with the exception of myself and Angus, as I now know what his name is.

"Shadow, are you sure you don't want anything?" Rouge asked for the umpteenth time.

"I told you; I'm fine"

"Well, it's probably for the best" Joseph commented. "If ya remember bein' at Woodstock, ya weren't actually there, right?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Means they got stoned, mate" Angus answered.

"Figures"

"Jeez, why are you so gloomy? Yer harshin' my mellow!" A cat in a black suit said.

"Ya know, you'd feel better if ya had a little liquid nourishment" Joseph coaxed.

"Yeah, Shadow, c'mon, don't be so square" Rouge agreed.

"Okay" I relented. "One drink"

…_Five drinks, one hour, and one certifiably drunk Shadow later…_

"Wow, Rouge, I gotta thank you. This is the most fun I've had…ever," I slurred. I've never had this much (or anything) to drink before.

Suddenly, and suddenly enough for me to fall out of my seat, a loudspeaker blared "Five minutes until Slingshots N' Daisies

Take the stage!"

"Well, Shadow, Rouge, that's our cue" Joseph started, completely unaffected by the alcohol, getting up from his seat. The four others got up as well and started to head for their respective instruments. "We'll play the show, then come back to hang with you guys. Hope you-oof!" the black fox had not been paying attention to where he was walking and walked into someone transporting an amp for the show. The roadie lost his balance and dropped the amp.

There was the unmistakable sound of an amp smashing…which was drowned out by a sickening _snap_. That's right, the roadie dropped a fifty-pound amp on Joseph's right leg.

"Damn it, not again!" Joseph swore. The band and the two of us ran up to him, some more coordinated than others.

"What's going on here?" an angry looking dog barked.

"Hey, Gabbie! Great ta see ya!" the injured fox started. "I got some bad news…"

"Are you kidding me? Not again, Joey!" he placed his hand over his face.

"You!" he yelled, pointing at some unlucky intern that happened to be passing by. "Call an ambulance! Joey can't sing"

"Oi! Gabbie! He can still sing! It's his leg that's broke!" Angus pointed out.

"Yes, _Ang_, I can see that, but he can't get up on stage without assistance"

"Well then who's gonna sing?" Angus asked indignantly.

"*hic* How 'bout Shadow? You can sing, can't ya, Shadow?" Rouge suggested. Somehow, I suspected that this was a drunken suggestion, as she was swaying gently from side to side.

"Oh, well, I really shouldn't. I had a little too much to drink," I said, straining to remain upright.

"Come on, Shady! Just put on some leather pants an' no one'll be the wiser!" Angus pleaded.

"Well…"

Angus smiled. An eerie smile; the kind of smile that worries me, no matter what my state of mind. "Close enough. We'll need to get ready, now won't we?"

"I look ridiculous," I said, looking at myself in the mirror.

"Well, the leather pants are non-negotiable" Angus retorted.

"Is screwing up my quills also necessary?"

"Name one rockin' band that combed their quills before going onstage" I thought about it for a second. He has a point.

"Ok, are you done now?"

"Fer now" he answered. "We'll give ya the tattoo later"

"Um…Tattoo?"

"Never mind. It's show time!" he walked briskly out of the changing room, leaving me in my tee shirt and leather pants. Only now did it dawn upon me what I was getting into, but it's a little too late to back out.

I walked on stage behind the rest of the band. They were already behind or at their respective instruments. Right now, Angus was at the microphone.

"Good afternoon, ladies and gents! Due to unforeseen circumstances, Joseph Ramono broke his leg and cannot perform tonight. Instead, we got his…second cousin…Jonny Ramono, who dropped by for the concert!"

"Jonny?" I hissed, walking up to the mike.

He shrugged. "Sorry, mate. I'm unimaginative"

Angus handed me a sheet of paper before disappearing backstage. Unfortunately, I'm not that imaginative either. "How are you all doin' tonight?" The crowd cheered.

"Great, great. We're gonna open with a song called…" it then occurred to me that I _don't_ know what song we're gonna open with. "Well, you'll recognize it"

Paul started the song by playing one note, over and over. After a few measures of that, additional chords, about three beats each were added to the mix. Neil added a tap from the high hat here and there. The lyric sheet said to wait precisely sixty-six seconds, and then start singing.

Just before it said to start singing, the rhythm changed and spotlights in the rafters shined on a high platform. Angus was standing up there playing. After a couple measures, he jumped down back with the rest of us.

Now, bear in mind, we mobians are _short,_ he's a kid, and this platform was a good ten feet off the stage. Not only did he stick the landing like he'd done it a million times before, but his playing didn't even skip a beat.

From there, he started duck walking back and forth across the stage. For those of you who don't know what the duck walk is, its swinging one leg up and down while hopping on one foot, but not quite as silly as it sounds.

I came in a bit late on the vocals, but I managed to make up the lost time. "If you're lookin' for trouble, I'm the man to see. If you're lookin' for satisfaction, I'm satisfaction guaranteed. I'm as cool as a body on ice, hotter than the rollin' dice. Send you to heaven, or I'll take you to hell, I ain't foolin', can't you tell? I'm a live wire! I'm a live wire! I'm a live wire! Gonna set this town on fire!" I sung the first verse and the first chorus without flaw, but Angus still felt complied to walk over to me and told me what I did wrong. Sure, he's up there jumping off of platforms and duck walking so well it would make Chuck Berry cry, but apparently, no one likes a frontman that just stands still.

Rouge once showed me a video of Axl Rose in concert, so I just did what he did. I picked up the microphone and it's stand and started dancing with it. I probably looked pretty stupid, but the crowd seemed to like it. For a split second a thought I saw someone familiar. I thought I saw Blaze's annoying raccoon sidekick, screaming in the crowd. She ducked under and I couldn't find her again, so I just assumed I was hallucinating.

"And if ya need some lovin' and if ya need some man, you got the phone and the number, and I got no future plans. Oh, come on honey, you got nothin' to lose. You got the thirst and I got the booze. Give you an inch, take you a mile, I wanna make you fry!"

"See, Miles? It was _totally_ worth coming here tonight"

"Aren't they a little loud?" my foxy companion shouted back.

"Well, that's the point. Ya can't have a rockin' show if ya ain't loud! An' these guys are the loudest!"

"I guess you're right" he agreed.

"Cause I'm a live wire!" This time, Paul, the bassist, echoed me in the chorus.

"And I wanna set your soul on fire!" at this point, Angus started to play the bridge. He was shaking so much that his hat had come off and was now lying lifelessly on the stage. His medium length hair was now swaying every which way as he shook around.

"Oh, stick _this_ in your fuse box!" Angus transitioned from bridge to solo, and his stage antics became more vigorous.

Angus ran to the edge of the stage and jumped off. While playing his solo, he ran through the crowd. His guitar cable, connecting him to his stack of amps followed him wherever he went, with slack to spare. After running around for a while, he came back and climbed on the stage.

After the solo, I sung the last chorus and Angus finished with a small guitar lick. The crowd was already cheering loudly, and this was only our opening song. I took a moment to catch my breath; singing isn't as easy as it looks when you have to sing over Angus' guitar playing.

Scratch walked over to the amp his was plugged into and flipped a switch before starting to play another song. The sound came out layered. I guess that would be a good way to put it. It sounded like several guitarists were playing the same as him, but in fact, it was only he playing.

The lyrics to the second song followed the first one on the page. "Why try? I know why; this feeling inside me says it's time I was gone. Clear air, life ahead. It's time I was king, not just one more pawn. Fly by night away from here! Change my life again. Fly by night, goodbye my dear. My ship is coming and I just can't pretend" Angus started playing along with Scratch, but still playing with his amp on clean.

"Moonrise, thoughtful eyes, staring back at me from the window beside. No fright, or hindsight, leaving behind that empty feeling inside. Fly by night away from here! Change my life again. Fly by night, goodbye my dear. My ship is coming and I just can't pretend. Whoa!"

Scratch took a solo. His guitar still had that layered sound when he started playing. He wasn't as fluid in movement as Angus, but he could play just as well. He just walked around a little as he played, eventually coming to the edge of the stage and kneeling down to the adoring fans trying to touch him. After the solo, I repeated the chorus and stared to sing the bridge.

"Start a new chapter, I find what I'm after, it's changing everyday. The change of the season is enough of a reason to want to get away. Quiet and pensive, my thoughts apprehensive, the hours drift away. Leaving my homeland, flying alone and, my life begins today" I sung the chorus twice more after the bridge followed by Neil hitting the cymbals and Angus striking a power chord to finish. The crowed started cheering wildly again.

Angus walked over to me. "Dude, you can really sing. You rock!"

"…Thanks…" I panted, hunched over with my hands on my knees. Eventually, my breath came back.

"You ready?" he asked. I nodded. Angus took his guitar pick and raised it over his head. The crowd quieted down abruptly. He put his hand over the strings and played six "dead" notes followed by two taps on the high hat.

We were exhausted. Well, more accurately, I was exhausted. The actual band member are used to this by now. We'd played everything ranging from Back In Black to Blitzkrieg Bop to Welcome To The Jungle to Drive My Car, not to mention everything in between.

Finally, it was time for the grand finale. Earlier, I saw the roadies wheeling out these old Napoleonic cannons. Apparently, they're used in the song we're about to play.

Angus, now drenched in sweat from the stage antics, and only wearing his shorts and shoes, began to play the melody. After repeating the first line twice, the drums and rhythm guitar came in. Paul stood still for a moment longer before playing.

"We roll tonight, to the guitar bite. Yeah, yeah, oh! Stand up and be counted for what you are about to receive. We are the dealers; we'll give you everything you need. Hail, hail to the good times cause rock has got the right of way. We ain't no legends, got no cause, we're just livin' for the day!"

Paul and I sang the chorus together. "For those about to rock, we salute you. For those about to rock, we salute you"

I sang the next verse alone. "We're rockin' down on the front line, like a bolt right out of the blue. The sky's alight with the guitar bite, heads will roll and rock tonight"

Paul and I repeated the chorus. Hearing the verbal cue, Angus broke out into another energetic solo, dropping to his knees and rolling on his back.

"Oh, we're just battery for hire with the guitar fire, ready and aimed at you! Pick up your balls and load up your cannon for a twenty-one-gun salute! For those about to rock…Fire!"

The cannons fired deafeningly close to me. "We salute you!"

"For those about to rock…" The cannon fired again without my command. I shot a glare at the guy working the cannon. He shrugged it off and went back to reloading it. "We salute you!"

"For those about to rock…Fire!" This time, he waited for my command. "We salute you! …Fire!" The cannon went off again.

"We salute you!" the sheet said to those notes longer than the others. "We salute you!"

Paul joined me again in singing the chorus. For a second, Angus stopped playing all together. I spared a glance to see what he was doing and it was probably one of the scariest sights I've I ever seen; he pushed the button on his amp labeled _overdrive._ Of course, if I were playing with any other guitarist, it would be ok, but he plays like his life depends on it. The amp was bigger than him, so he had to jump a few times to push it. The thing you have to know about amps is that bigger _always _means louder. No exception. I focused my attention back to the song and decided to worry about my possible loss of hearing later.

"Shout! Shout!" Angus began playing another solo, which nearly blew my eardrums out. The solo started with a pick slide, followed by something comparable to a sonic boom on the upper frets of the fret board. It was the most organized chaos I've ever heard.

It was so loud, that it was drowning everything out. Scratch abandoned the usual rhythm and changed it to compliment the solo. Paul's bass line was fine as it was so he kept playing. Neil hit his crash cymbal on every other beat.

"Shout! Shout!" Angus continued his solo, duck walking back and forth across the stage and jumping around, and still managing the play his tremendously difficult solo. Scratch was keeping up just fine, minus the running.

"For those who give, for those who take, those on the line, and those on the make, we salute you! Yeah! Ain't gonna get tired, won't take a break, we salute you! We salute you! We salute you! We salute you!" The music had started to ebb as the song ended, ending with a power chord and a cymbal crash.

"Fire!" Followed by one last blast for the cannons. I watched as Angus ran up to edge of the stage. _What's he doing?_ I thought. Then he jumped. The crowd caught him and started passing him around.

"C'mon Jonny!" He shouted up to the stage. "This is fun!"

"No, it's cool. I was groped by a large crowd of people yesterday" Angus eventually made his way back to the stage.

"Well, I guess you don't have to if you don't want to" he admitted, shrugging and walking so I was in between him and the edge of the stage. The other band members were running to the edge and jumping as well.

"Yes, thank-" and then he pushed me off. _Oh, God,_ I thought to myself in the half second I had before hitting the crowd. _There's no way they're gonna catch me._ About ten people caught me. The bent under my weight (you know, all that muscle), but managed to keep me suspended. The crowd passed me around for a while and I ended up next to Paul, the bassist.

"Nice singin' Jonny!" he shouted over the roar of the crowd.

"Thanks! Nice bass playing!" I shouted back.

Eventually the crowd passed us back to the stage. When we were all on stage, Angus approached the mike.

"You've all been a great audience! Have a good night!" after which he left back stage with the rest of the band.

…_Backstage…_

Rouge was utterly enthralled. "Shadow, you were amazing! I had no idea you could sing like that!" she said, running over to us, stumbling a bit.

"Looks like the girl lost her rhythm" Angus snickered, promptly slapped in the back of the head by Paul.

"That makes seven of us" I replied.

"Well, are we going to go, or not?" Paul spoke up.

"Go where?"

He smiled devilishly. "Anywhere we want"

"But first, we gotta give'em the tattoo" Angus interrupted.

"What?" my voice cracked.

"Everyone who's every stood in for a sick member or played with us had gotten a tattoo"

"Oh, it's ok. Don't waste your ink on me"

"Don't be a wuss. Ladies love a little bit a' ink on their men" After thinking it over for a bit, I came to the conclusion that you just can't argue with logic like that, especially coming from a kid.

"Fine" Roughly one hour later, their tattoo, a slingshot crossed with a daisy was emblazoned on the palm of my hand. The alcohol and indifference to physical harm numbed the pain, but hear me, don't _ever_ get a tattoo on the palm of your hand. It _hurts._ I put my glove back on over my hand.

From there, we voted to hit up the local clubs. The closest popular club was a place called Freedom Square. It used to be an old train station, but was abandoned before being purchased by the clubs' owner and refurbished into a nightclub. Ever since then, it popularity has been constantly increasing to the point that it attracts celebrities, like us.

The second we stepped out the backdoor of the stadium where we had just performed, we were mobbed by adoring fans. For a second, both parties stood stock still, until the fans made their move.

"Run!" Angus shouted, running ahead while the rest of us started after him. Naturally, I zoomed way a head of everyone, leaving them in the dust. Realizing how selfish that was of me, abandoning my surrogate band like that, I slowed my pace so they could catch up.

"Oi!" Angus shouted above the crowd, "When they said 'Band on the Run' I didn't think they meant it literally!" I just rolled my eyes at his bad joke. _Jeez,_ I thought. _If they were comedians, this could be a whole lot worse; the crowd would be throwing rocks._

We gave the crowd the slip by ducking into an alley. Those who noticed us were run over by the other rabid fans that still thought they were in hot pursuit.

After the crowd was far enough away, we continued down to Freedom Square. The sun was just setting by the time we got there.

Standing by the door, next to the velvet rope, was a very threatening looking individual. Rouge once said that if you pretend you know what you're doing, other people would believe you. In the spirit of her advice I walked up to the bouncer with as much swagger as I could muster.

In spite of my swagger, or lack thereof, he stopped me.

"Are you on the list?" he asked.

"Yes" I lied.

"Well, then what's you name?"

"Shadow T. Hedgehog" the bouncer paled visibly.

"_You're_ the famous Shadow the hedgehog?"

"Yeah," I said walking right up to his face. "Got a problem with it?

"N-no, sir. Right this w-way" He stepped to the side and allowed us to walk in.

Just like many of the events prior to this one, it was my first time in a club. First consumption of alcohol, first rock concert, first time filling in for a front man, first tattoo, first time in a nightclub, my mom would be so proud, if I had one.

This particular nightclub would appear as anyone might've suspected; there was a bar, a dance floor, music, even so far as live entertainment.

"So, Jonny, ready to chase some tail?" Paul asked smiling suggestively. Now, he means this literally; most mobians have tails.

"No" I relied bluntly.

"Your loss, mate" he said, walking into a crowd of dancing people.

Suddenly, the live music stopped.

"Ang, what're you doin' here?" a thick British accent asked. Everyone stopped dancing to look at the stage. What they saw was a small raccoon in a schoolboy uniform chatting it up with an older porcupine and his band.

"We had a concert in town and came here to unwind"

"Good ole Ang, comin' to a nightclub to relax. Where's Joey keepin' himself at? I haven't seen'em in ages" the strange porcupine continued.

"Bout that, Ozz. He broke his legs again, and his cousin stood in for him"

"Say, I got an idea! Why don' we play together?" the porcupine suggested.

"Ey! Jonny! Think ya feel up to it?" Suddenly, everyone who was previously looking at the raccoon and porcupine were now looking at me. Well, there's not backing out now, with everyone staring expectantly.

"C'mon _Jonny,_ it'll be fun" Rouge joked. Reluctantly, and with the help of the guitarist next to this Ozz person, I got up on stage.

"I don't believe we met before. I'm Ozzy Osbourne," the porcupine said, shaking my hand. "And this here is my guitarist Randy Avenues"

Randy, the guitarist, and a dog by the looks of him, nodded.

…And as the story Rouge told me goes, we played a couple of songs, had a few more drinks with Ozzy, and picked up some chicks.

That should lead up to now, where I find myself in my bedroom having just been informed about all this by a telephone call sent by Rouge. I think if _anyone_ got drunk, it was she. Bad headaches like mine can be explained in many ways other than ingesting alcohol. For example, I just listened to that awful story.

Knock knock.

_I swear, if it's Rouge…_ I thought as I got up and walked to the door.

"What the hell do you…" I stopped when I saw it was a delivery person of some sort.

"Package for Mr. Shadow T. Hedgehog" he said dully, as if he had everything better to do than this.

"Present"

"Well, here's your package" he handed me a small cardboard box, roughly two feet by one-and-a-half. He had me sign my name on a clipboard and then left. When I got inside, I tore open the box to find the strangest items to ever be shipped. There was a white tee shirt, a pair of leather pants, a pair of sunglasses with pink lenses, and a few sheets of paper resting squarely on top. I started to feel dizzy and uneasy at the sight of these things. I started sweating and teetered side to side.

With shaking hands I picked up the papers and began to read the first. "Dear Shadow, in light of your rocking performance at our concert the night before last, we decided to give the clothes as a reminder of that night and all the crap we did. Yesterday, Ang came to me with a song he'd written, lyrics, music and everything. Not only is it a bloody good song, but it's about you, what you did for us, and the situation we put you in, so went sent you a copy of the music as a thank-you. On behalf of Slingshots N' Daisies, we'd like to thank you for possibly the best Rock and Roll show to ever take place in Mobius. If you ever want to get together and jam, just call 36-24-36, or drop by the corner of fifty-third and third. Rock In Peace. Sincerely, Paul, Angus, Scratch, Neil, and Joseph"

"P.S. I thought you could put the glasses to better use"

"Oh, hell"

A/N: Again, so much fun to write. In case anyone noticed, I put a couple references to songs in the story. Let's see if you can find them all. Drop a review on your way out. Thanks in advance.


End file.
